Memories of Thanksgiving

I've been thinking about this a lot recently and wanted to write it down. This isn't as much about my current Thanksgiving as the ones in years past when I was growing up and how the holiday has changed for me.

Growing up, Thanksgiving was one of my favorite holidays and not for the food. My mom and I would go down to Atlanta to visit my grandparents, Mema and Granddaddy. and all my uncles would come over with their families. I remember how happy everyone was and the warmth of the get together. I remember silly things like playing with the motorized lounge chair in the front room to the side of the living room. I remember standing at the edge of the small kitchen and the dining room trying to peak at all the good food that was being made. I remember the excitement I got every time some one knocked on the door and I ran to greet yet another loved one. It was a surprise each time who would arrive next.

I can still imagine Mema's beautiful soft voice that sounded like she was singing to me when she called my mother's name. I remember Granddaddy sitting in his recliner and his rock collection. I remember Uncle Sam's hugs and how he'd kiss Granddaddy on his forehead when he arrived and before he left. I remember my cool big cousins who I thought of as the most beautiful girls I'd ever seen (inside and out) and who I wanted to be like when I grew up.  I remember talking with Uncle Ken in the living room about how my school was going. Uncle Auby peeling potatoes and chopping onions. I remember us saying the blessing and what we were thankful for. And I remember always being a little sad when everyone had to go home but so happy and thankful I got to see them and celebrate with them.

Some years we had Thanksgiving at my mom's house in North Georgia. If the weather was nice we could eat and chat outside on the deck. I remember our various cats would come up to the sliding glass doors to see what was going on outside and Granddaddy would meow at them to get them to come closer to him. I remember all the people being in my mom's living room being a lit cramped but no one ever complained since we so enjoyed the company.

On Thanksgiving we also would celebrate my birthday which probably added to the fun for me but still my greatest gift was being surrounded by all that love.

The last Thanksgiving we had at my mom's house (when all my uncles and aunts were there) the main thing I remember is what I was thankful for, my Uncle Ken had finally stopped smoking. I still tear up thinking about how happy I was when he told me and saying that when it was my turn to give thanks.

The following year things changed drastically and my favorite holiday became my most dreaded. Before the next Thanksgiving Uncle Sam passed away suddenly of lung cancer that came out of nowhere . Uncle Ken was diagnosed with lung cancer as well. Mema broke her hip and had to go into a care facility to help in her recovery. That year my mom and I had Thanksgiving with Uncle Auby and his wife at a Vegetarian Chinese Restaurant after visiting Mema. This was the start of several years of sad Thanksgivings. My mom and I went to the Marietta Diner one year, other various restaurants for others and though I love spending the time with my mom I know it was a reminder to both of us of the people who were now missing from our celebration. We even had Thanksgiving at my Dad's house once with just my Dad, Mom, and I but even my Dad cried during the meal. The tradition of sad Thanksgivings continued. I lost the joy of Thanksgiving when we lost the family members we were so thankful for.

Finally at the age of 21 (almost 22) I had a wonderful Thanksgiving again. This was my first Thanksgiving at my husband's grandparents house in NC. With baby C in tow I was welcomed into my new extended family and into their traditions. The food was still the same as it had been years before, the same dishes, and made with the same love, though by different hands. The laughter returned and the comfort as well. My mom went to my sister's that year and had a great time celebrating Thanksgiving as well. The following year I went to NC again this time with J as well and it was again wonderful, warm, and welcoming. Last year we had Thanksgiving at my Mom's house for the first time I can remember since the last real Thanksgiving of my childhood. My sister came up with her family and once again the house was filled with love and happiness for the holiday. 

When I married the love of my life and when my family grew into his I found Thanksgiving again. I still miss the family members I don't see for this holiday those who've passed and those who have just moved on to their own new traditions, but I hope I will be able to reconnect with them in the following years as well. And as I look towards the first Thanksgiving at my house, I am so happy and thankful that I'm not dreading any emptiness or that something will be missing. My house will be filled with love and family once again as well as with the smells of good food. I am Thankful for the time I got to spend with my family when I was little and am thankful that my children get to give thanks in a home filled with love as well and make their own memories for what I hope will be one of their favorite holidays.