Happy Birthday to my Mom/Ami

Happy Birthday to my Beautiful Amazing Incredible Mom! I am so blessed to have you as my mom, and my kids' grandmother. I thank God for you and love you Mom/Ami!

All I wanted to be

Written at 4am when realized during a nursing session. I'm sure other mothers have had similar realizations but this is my personal experience and what I actually wanted to be and am and I felt it was worth writing down. Now I'm going back to bed, enjoy (and excuse any typos etc. since it was written very early in the morning).

When I was a child I often dreamed of what I would be when I grew up
I wanted to be an artist,
A singer,
A teacher,
A lawyer,
A writer,
And a mother.

Then I became a mother and I chose to stay home with my children.
When people ask me my profession I say "Stay at home mom"
or "Domestic engineer"
or Homemaker.

But I have no regrets in my role because
I have the best job in the world and am everything I wanted to be.
You see,

I am an artist.
I see the most beautiful art I've ever created every day,
my children, who God blessed my husband and I to create.
They reflect us and are yet so unique and are each more fascinating
then anything I've ever or could ever paint, draw, or design.

I am a singer.
I sing my children lullabies every night, and throughout the day,
We sing songs of every genre whether sung perfectly or completely off key
they are beautiful to them.
I may have a small group of fans but their payment in smiles, coos,
kisses, and hugs, as they dance with me twirling in circles or drifting off to sleep
Breathing softly against my chest,
Are worth more than any other payment in the world.

I am a teacher.
Every moment I must guide and teach my children about the world,
About God,
About Love,
About everything and anything.
I'm teaching them even when I don't realize it with every action,
everything I say and do in their presence.
I'm showing them how to live their lives in how I live my life
and I'm teaching them what's truly important.
I may never give grades but my impact on them
will be more than any teacher they ever see in school.

I am a lawyer.
No I have no degree and no courtroom but every day I must negotiate
many arguments and find compromises.
I must figure out if the accuser or defendent is the guilty party,
Amidst the accusations of dueling toddlers.
We build the structure of our home on certain policies and rules we feel are important,
I must lead my children in following the laws of the world
As well as teaching them to set laws for themselves which will lead them to be better people.
And if needed I will fight tooth and nail for my children's rights and freedoms
and protect their innocense to the furthest extent possible.

I am a writer.
I don't have any books but I keep track of all the beautiful moments and memories I can.
Whether through notes or journals,
Even the simple notes to my children and husband,
Saying I love you, will bring such joy to them to read.
and someday I hope these words and the hand that wrote them
will mean even more to them than the most timeless verse.
My grandmother was a writer and my mother still clings to the notes in her beautiful, delicate handwriting, and still feels her love in this way.
I also always recognize my mother's handwriting on envelopes before I open them
And it warms my heart no matter what's inside.
They are writers too, as am I.

I realize now that not only did I get my wise of being a mother,
I am everything I dreamed of, and so much more.
I am and artist, singer, teacher, lawyer, and writer.
I didn't know it at the time
But by becoming a mother all my dreams came true,
and then some.
I see now I wanted to be a mother all along.
I wanted to always be there for my children, to love, guide them,
to care for them,
to teach them,
to sing to them,
to fight for them,
to create memories with them that would last a lifetime
and to help them both remember and write their own stories,
And to help them become whatever they want to be when they grow up,
just as I did.

Today and A Reminder/Realization on Parenting

I know I've posted a bit more today then usual but I'm in a sentimental mood and didn't have as much time to blog last week. I'm first giving a quick update on today and then I want to share a realization on parenting.

Hubby's first exam went wonderfully this morning so now we're just waiting for Thursday to be done with the rest of the term. J did have one accident today but potty training is still going well and once is not bad for sure. E rolled over from her back to belly last week and since has been enjoying tummy time a lot more which has been exciting for C and J to get down on the floor with her as she attempts to scoot towards them. C and J both have been working on their writing. J is getting more control with drawing and has done a few letters. C can write most letters but is still getting them down (practice makes perfect) and today she wrote her numbers as well. I know they both will just need practice to get better about it and it's just one more sign they're getting bigger so quickly. I hope to start more seriously on teaching reading with C after Christmas and I'm hoping J's interest will spark from seeing the lessons with big sis. We'll see. I'm not sure if we'll be putting C in school next year or not since it will depend on where we are based on hubby's job, but right now I love that I can teach the kids at home and we have this time together.

FOR PARENTS

The following is a realization I've had on my mind recently that I'm writing to share and as a reminder to me in the coming years. I know this is not perfect but it's something I believe in and feel other parents may be able to relate to if we really think about it.

I realized that no matter how you parent, if you work or stay at home, if you home school or send to public school, if you're older or younger, if you have one child or ten, use cloth diapers or disposables, etc. etc., as long as you educate yourself, make each decision based on what is best for your family, put your children's needs first, and make the most of the situation you're in, you are a good parent. This has taken me three years to really admit and completely understand though it seems simple enough. It's hard as parents to accept that doing the best for us is not necessarily doing the same thing as everyone else.

Of all my friends and family members who are parents, though I agree more with some people's ways of parenting than others, none of us do everything exactly the same and I think in the end whether we agree or not, as long as we put our children first and educate ourselves in making each decision for our kids we're all doing a good job raising our children. And though we don't always agree I think we can agree on the following things we must do as parents.

We must be open to criticism at times and be able to back up what we're doing and what we choose not to do as well as admit when we're wrong. If you don't open yourself to others' ideas you'll never learn and never become better. This doesn't mean you have to agree with every new idea from a fellow parent but you must be open and research I think. I have learned so much from my friends who are parents though I haven't done everything they've recommended.

You must be humble and always always willing to learn and admit you don't know everything. The best parents I've met even though they had several years and/or many children under their parental experience belt have all told me they still don't know everything. You're constantly learning with kids even when they're no longer under your roof. And it's when you think you're most in control that you're proven wrong. If you think you know everything how do you learn anything new? No one's perfect so just be the best you can be at this moment and strive to become better and learn from every challenge. Always make the most of each new day.

You must be adaptable. Every child is different and what works for your first may not work for your second, what works for your friend may not work for you and so on. Also what works today may not work tomorrow. If one thing doesn't work try something else till you find what fits. Once again this is the nature of children, each one is unique and they're constantly growing and changing.

And finally, remember "the grass is always greener on the other side"...well at least it seems to be. We always want what we don't have and when looking at other people's lives we're looking through rose colored glasses. Everyone has challenges they face. Everyone has good days and bad. We usually see people's good days more often when it comes to parenting. I mean honestly no one is posting the pictures of the child crying or the mom pulling her hair out, or the close ups of spit up stains, poop explosions, and bags under parent's eyes on facebook.

I know I've envied parents who seem to always have it all together and recently I realized they don't after all. They're not better than us because they do more or worse because they seem to do less. We're not living their lives each hour and we're not seeing the whole picture and they're not seeing ours. We're all learning as we go, making the best of our situations, and being the best parents possible to our children. No parents are the same but many people with very different parents still have wonderful childhoods and still end up being successful healthy adults with families of their own. My mother didn't have the opportunity to stay home with me but she still is the most amazing mother in the world. I still learned more from her than the fancy boarding school I attended and every parenting book I've read (and there's a lot of them lol). She made the most of what we had, the time, the place we lived, and every other part of our lives.

Don't look at the parents on tv, your neighbors, or even your relatives to see if you're being the best parent possible. All you need to do is look at your children. It is written in every smile, hug, kiss, and even each tear they shed that is so quickly resolved when comforted by Mommy and Daddy. I know I'm not perfect and I will face more challenges in the years to come but I also know looking at my children, even though I'm not doing all I wish I could at all times, I'm doing right by them and I am a good parent. I hope everyone who reads this can look at their little ones and know the same :)


And here's some pictures I took of my three perfect blessings today. Looking at these reminds me how much I love them, how amazing and unique they each are, and that I am constantly striving to be the best mom I can be, for them :)

I grew up in Paradise

My mom posted some pictures on FB of her house today. This is where I grew up, in the woods in the middle of Nowhere aka North Georgia. Seeing the pictures reminded once again how blessed I am that I grew up in paradise.

Our home is in a tiny town you could drive through and not even know it. I remember the only sign to show you need to turn to go to the road to our house is a yellow diamond with a firetruck on it for the volunteer station, that's it, no other signs from the highway that we're there. You drive down a single lane dirt road which splits onto an even tinier path into the woods and finally splits to go down the drive to our house. Hidden away from civilization itself almost, is the house I grew up in.

My mom and I used to joke "Over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go" was about my mother's house. And it's very similar to the song though you don't drive over the river, it's just a short walk from the house.

The house was small and an older style, but always warm even in a snowstorm with no power, since it was filled with my mother's love. We were too far out for mail delivery but that also meant we were too far out for salesmen. We worried about bears more than robbers and all year round we got to experience the various seasons in all their beauty in the forest surrounding us.

As a child I thought I might want to live in a bigger newer house or closer to town and the stores and entertainment options of the city. Now that I'm older though I realize how wrong those thoughts were. Now I appreciate the home I grew up in, in the woods, so much more. I realize I would rather live with my family in a smaller, older, love filled home than the newest biggest mansion in the world. I hope no matter where my family ends up living in the years to come that someday looking back my children will also feel that they grew up in paradise.